Have you ever caught yourself looking over at your partner and thinking, 'wow, I can't believe I used to want to make-out with this person 24/7! Now, all we talk about are kids and bills. What happened to our passion and intimacy?' This is a phenomenon that happens to the best of couples. Here's the positive news, you can recover that intimacy, desire, and connection.
Here are five actions you can start taking today to get on the path to creating that thriving relationship.
1. Deal with issues when they're small
I know first hand how much easier it feels to ignore a situation that causes stress or anxiety, hoping it'll disappear or resolve itself. Unfortunately, the ol' bury-the-head-in-the-sand tactic ends up leaving us with needing a big-ass shovel to dig ourselves out! I'm not saying that every little issue that bugs you should become a sit-down, intense convo. However, if it is a recurring problem, thinking of the concern from a different perspective is helpful. Ask how much will this affect me a year from now? Your other option is to face the issue with your partner and come up with a reasonable solution. Guess what? The solution may be to agree to disagree.
2. Simple Touch
There is an energy that is expressed through a physical connection. An electric shock is an example of the energy experienced at a super-charged level. I don't want you to rub your feet on the carpet and shock your partner (you lose sexiness points that way!), but I want to help you visualize the power that is shared when two people touch. Brush against or caress one another's hand, arm, or face for a second. Try this a few times a day, to elicit the feeling of caring, love, and desire. To earn bonus points, embrace one another for a minimum of six seconds. This releases endorphins in the body, which is what happens when we fall in love.
3. 'Turn-in' vs. turning out
You know when your partner is talking about something that he/she loves, but you couldn't care less? You need to fake it, but only for a minute. How this works is when your significant other is addressing you about any topic, you turn to them and make a quick, positive response. This action lets them know you're listening, you care, and they are important. Here's an example:
My hubby: did you see who the 49er's brought on as the new coach?
Me: No, who?
Hubby: Kyle Shanahan from the Atlanta Falcons.
Me: What do you think of him?
Hubby: He's ......
Me: Well, I hope they can finally get it back together and have a successful season.
See how quick that was? The truth is, I have no idea where the ball is half the time in football, and would much rather watch baseball. However, in the exchange above, I acknowledged him and showed him I cared about what he was sharing. We all want to be heard, accepted and appreciated. Right?
If this is the only take away you practice from this post, it will make a profound difference in your relationship! A gratitude attitude is an action of appreciating the positives in someone else. Here are two ways to use it: 1) Before you get out of bed every morning, take two minutes to think of what you are grateful for in your partner. This will start your day on a happy note. Interestingly enough, you'll also attract more positivity throughout your day. 2) Next time you're upset with your main squeeze, pause for a moment and think about five things you like about the other person. It can be anything from how they help prep the kids for school, or how they charge your phone for you every night. This mind-shift takes the negative energy from our thoughts and replaces them with a more uplifting, favorable perspective. The key to all this is to implement these tactics continually until they become a habit.
Try these suggestions for thirty days and see how your relationship transpires. Write down in a journal how you feel each day toward your partner and rate your happiness level. Make sure to start each day with a gratitude-attitude. My guess is you're going to gain a far more positive lifestyle!
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