"Can people change, or make one bad decision?" ~ You, Me, Life, Dreams ~
It is my experience, that yes, people can and do change. It is possible that they make a bad decision in their life. Afterall, we are human; and humans make mistakes. I know for myself, I am not the same person that I was 3 or 4 years ago, let alone who I was 30 or 40 years ago. Our mindset often changes as we go through life.
However, with that being said, not everyone changes. This is where it can be hard to tell IF there should be a second chance or not; and that is not a definite yes or no. Each person is a bit different; but there are some basic guidelines that we can use in learning if it is time to let someone go, or if we should give things another go.
My first consideration is if there has been any violence or abuse in the situation. If so, then, it needs to be let go. There are so many layers to these patterns; and the person needs to clear themselves, and they will not do that with someone in their life. If this has come up; you are not the person that they are going to change for.
Next, we want to know if what has happened is truly a single incident or are there indications that this is part of a bigger pattern. For example, an addiction, is a bigger pattern. It might be the first time someone cheats; but they may have patterns of seeking gratification through food, drinking, drugs, sex sites, etc. The bigger pattern of addiction is on going; and even if the cheating is a one time thing, there will be other things that come up to create an addiction of gratification; until the person realizes why they are feeling deprived and not having enough. They can then start a path to make the changes to stop the pattern of addiction.
Again, however, it is important to realize that you may not be the person they change for. If this is truly a one time incident without deeper patterns attached to it; the relationship can have a good chance for survival as long as there is not violence or abuse involved. It is also important to keep our ego of wanting to be the one that someone changes for in check and basically out of the picture. It is more important to care for the person getting the help they need; with or without us there.
Time is truly a great healer with relationships; because it is only through consistent action over time that strong foundations of trust can be rebuilt. One poor decision may be just that; but it will take more than saying "I am sorry" to get things back on track. Love needs to be shown time and time again. When we truly love and care for someone; we show it day after day after day.