Holiday Relationship Blues 6 Ways to Cope

Holiday Relationship Blues 6 Ways to Cope

written by: Dr. Erica Goodstone

by: Dr. Erica Goodstone
Relationship-problems Relationship-problems

So You've Got Holiday Relationship Blues

  • You have no close family or friends and you will be spending the holidays alone
  • The love of your life just walked out on you and is already with someone else
  • Your finances are in bad shape and your credit cards are at the limit
  • Your addiction has gotten worse and you are about to lose everything you value
  • Someone you love is ill or recently passed on
  • You just received a poor diagnosis and are facing illness, surgery or worse
  • Your children have stopped talking to you or they live so far away now

Do You Really Believe YOU are the ONLY Person Feeling Sad?

I know, everywhere you look all you can see are smiling faces, groups of people socializing, laughing and sharing wonderful times. You hear bells ringing, happy holiday songs on loudspeakers, happy Christmas stories on TV, people rushing around buying just the right holiday gifts for their loved ones. But YOUR loved one is no longer with you, no longer acknowledges and appreciates you. Maybe you just don't have the money to spend on gifts or you are convinced that nobody will be buying you a gift this year.

Whatever the cause of your holiday relationship blues, rest assured YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It is well known that the stress and anxiety of the holiday season may cause even those who are usually quite content to feel less than their usual optimistic, happy self. You may blame your family for something they have not done. You may start questioning the quality of your current relationships. And probably the most common thing to do is to compare yourself and your life, at this time of year, to all those you see around you.

Do you realize that Your Attitude Can Age You, make you sick or healthy and it can and will change the way you experience your life and you always can change your attitude. Don't pass by a lemonade stand. Write your thoughts and let your creativity emerge.

6 Ways to Overcome Your Holiday Relationship Blues – and Only 2 That Work

  1. Drown your sorrows in alcohol. Go to a nearby pub and hang out every day (after work if you are still working or start early if you're out of work). Find some steady drinking buddies to share your woes and laugh and do some ridiculous and silly things you would never do while sober. So what if you damage the table by dancing on it topless. At least you'll be having fun.
  2. Volunteer at a local Exotic Dance Club. If you're an attractive woman, speak to the manager and offer your services for free, just to help raise your spirits and dance for men who will praise your beauty. If you're an attractive or adventurous man, spend time there, letting the young beautiful women flatter you while you spend hundreds of dollars pleasing them. Your spouse wants you to be happy so he or she won't mind.
  3. Disturb your neighbors. Put your dog outside and encourage it to bark loudly. Blast your music loud. Trash your neighbor's holiday decorations. Call them to complain each time one of your neighbors is having a party. After all, if you can't join in the fun at least you can spoil it for others.
  4. Schedule doctor appointments to complain. Blame your depression, on a rare disease. Make sure to warn each doctor that if they don't figure out the cause you plan to sue them. Remember, you're jealous that they have so many patients and are making so much money. It's not fair.
  5. Give to others. Contact people you haven't spoken to in awhile and tell them why what you appreciate about them. Buy unexpected gifts for your friends and family, for your hairdresser, car mechanic, landlord, broker, accountant, coach or therapist, or for anyone with whom you have regular contact. Give a waitress a double tip. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Volunteer at a church or synagogue, hospital, senior citizen home, or your favorite charity organization. Offer your assistance at your local animal shelter or better still, adopt a pet.
  6. Use your time alone to educate yourself and to share with others. Read books, watch videos, discover the reasons why you are feeling alone and sad while others seem to be so happy. Talk to a therapist, even for a few sessions, to share your worries, fears, insecurities, beliefs and dreams for your future. Find a local or online support group to exchange thoughts and feelings with like-minded others. If you can't find a group, then start your own. Visit some local meetups to connect with others.

You Can Choose to Celebrate, Self-Destruct or Lash Out at Others.

  • What do YOU plan to do during this holiday season?
  • You can choose to drown your sorrows in alcohol or drugs.
  • You can choose to make others unhappy because of your sadness.
  • Or – you can find a way to offer your services and help another person or persons to feel a little bit better because you did something for them.

Please share your holiday plans in the comments below and any suggestions you may have to help those who are feeling depressed to find a way out of the blues.

Warmly,

Dr. Erica