Loneliness or Solitude: What makes the difference?

Loneliness or Solitude: What makes the difference?

written by: Lana McAra
by: Lana McAra
Solitude Solitude

Being alone is often seen as a terrible circumstance. Yet, some people are extolled for living on a mountain top for 60 years... in seclusion.

In today's world, we meditate in solitude and enjoy quiet moments in total stillness. Or at least we dream about doing it.

The fast-paced modern lifestyle chatters in our ears non-stop. Every waking moment and sometimes in our dreams. Not a moment's peace. We are addicted to the noise. We are resistant to quiet moments.

I was, too. Reading did it for me. If I wasn't working on my computer at my digital marketing business, I was reading about personal development, or business growth, or health and nutrition. A quiet moment? That felt like wasted space to me. I lived in a household filled with people—up to 9 at a time, depending on the season.

But then I was suddenly alone. Ripped away from my family and my home, I listened to the quiet for days at a time. Too wracked to focus on work. Too exhausted to go out. I listened and listened and listened. For what? I didn't even know.

Loneliness suffocated me.

It took about 3 years, a slow unfolding with a lot of energy clearing and wave upon wave of healing. My anxious heart grew still. Somewhere in there, the quiet became my friend.

Peaceful evenings and soft mornings. What decadence. What shameless luxury. I enjoyed friends, but I didn't need to be with anyone. I reveled in solitude. I became greedy for seclusion.

What decadence. What shameless luxury.

That's when I understood what Osho meant when he said, "Only those who are capable of being alone are capable of love." Enjoying companionship without neediness, that's the butterfly, let go, to return again.

When we enjoy aloneness, our love becomes pure, without possession, dependence, or addiction. This opens the door for connection—core to core. Fulfilled within our own hearts, the weight of fulfillment doesn't fall upon our beloved. We know how to self-nourish, so during tough times we are okay. And will be okay whatever lies ahead.

What a paradox. Only when we don't need love, are we then ready for it.

Are you hungry for love? Give yourself love. Be love. Then you will be ready.

written by: Lana McAra

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