"...loosen the reigns..." ~ You, Me, Life, Dreams ~
Too often in relationships, there are insecurities and co-dependent patterns that happen. This is a really important one to break through, if we are to have satisfying and rewarding relationships. One way to tell that you may be in this space; is where there is a constant need for communication.
When a partner has to know everything, or is constantly asking what you are doing; it can quickly become suffocating or smothering. Our need to do this can often show where we are feeling insecure in the relationship. It often times, can also indicate that someone is struggling to trust their partner, or that they are not getting enough communication from their partner to create a space of safety for them.
If you are in a relationship founded in trust, with a partner who is confident in the relationship, they won't need to know every move you make in the day. They won't need to know what you are wearing, what you are eating, what shows you are watching, who you are with, etc. I remember having a couple of relationships like this along the way; and remember thinking to myself, that I had less freedom with this partner than I did living with my parents.
Everyone, can use a little space. Telling a partner that you are constantly missing them and that you need them, is really telling them that you are not ready for a lasting relationship. Giving a partner a little space, and taking some for yourself; keeps you connected with yourself. When each person is allowed to stay connected to themselves, they can bring more to the relationship. Our time alone, can be a valuable piece in wanting our relationship even more.
If you find yourself with a partner that is suffocating and showing tendencies of trust issues or insecurities; then it is important to talk with them and not ignore them. Ignoring a partner in this space, will only make things more challenging; and will lead them to become even more suffocating. You will want to let them know that it is important that you have your own time and space; and that it is respected.
Setting some guidelines as to what can bring ease for both people can really help the relationship grow. When one person can respect a no contact time frame; and the other can provide enough communication to provide the foundations of a secure relationship, then the relationship develops the foundation for something lasting. Suffocating a partner will only make them want more time alone.