It is difficult to accept anything if you are still holding on. Imagine holding a trunk full of everything that ever happened to you. Your past experiences, regrets, concerns, shame and blame. It is so heavy that you can't take on anything else and then you see in front of you all that you desire and want but you don't have a free hand to reach out to get it because you're carrying this massive trunk that is weighing you down.
All of the hurt and setbacks instead can be taken as lessons and experiences that need to be let go of so you can move on. When you keep on pulling this baggage, everything suffers, your job, your friendships, your relationships and your whole life!
When you learn to let go, you'll transform your life and relationships. You will feel at peace when you don't have to drag this baggage everywhere.
Take these simple steps now to learn to let go:
• Practice the Serenity Prayer: Reinhold Niebuhr wrote: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." Ask yourself can you change it? Know that we cannot change people, places or things. Letting go of thinking you can will remove the frustration and free you.
"Courage to change the things I can," you can change your thoughts, actions and beliefs. Change your thinking and watch how your feelings transform about yourself and others. "And wisdom to know the difference." What a gift to know you have a choice. You get to choose every day how you will feel. Choose wisely.
The Only Thing Anything Has is the Meaning You Give It:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." – Eleanor Roosevelt
Nothing can bother you until and unless you give it the power to do so. Know there may be many incidents in your life that might have impacted you in some way but for how long would you carry it along?
The only meaning anything has is what you give it. If you decide something was horrible you will always go back to it that way. Instead look for "What's good about it?" Was it a lesson, an incident, did you make it small or big? It is all a choice. You get to write the story.
Learn to let go and know that the weight will lesson when you decide to put it all down. What has happened was a thing of the past. When you stop giving it negative meaning and when you learn to let go, you will wake up one day and see it does not anger or saddens you anymore.
• Your Past Doesn't Define Your Future:
Everyone has a chapter in their life which they do not read out aloud. It might be full of numerous things. But if you were wronged or hurt in the past or was unable to achieve something, it does not mean that past will repeat itself. You had an experience probably learnt something out of it too. You need to understand that your past DOES not define you but the choices you make right now does.
• Hurt Only Hurts the Person Carrying It:
Anger and hurt actually causes more pain for the person carrying it more than who caused it. Let go of the hurt because it is not affecting that person but it is you. They have moved on but you may have chosen to hold on. Let Go!!!! Holding on to such feelings will hurt you daily. When you learn to let go and get rid of the pain, you can move on peacefully.
• Learn to Love Yourself:
The most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself. No one else is responsible for you. You are in control of your life & you deserve better. You may have trusted the wrong people, invested too much and ended up getting hurt but why keep on blaming yourself? Life goes on, and so should you.
Love yourself and if you need to, forgive yourself as well so that you live a content life.
Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a Relationship Expert, Licensed Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner and creator of Neuro Associative Programming (NAP). You can find more helpful tips to loving yourself and improving your life here at, FineToFab.com, or by calling 1-844-FINEtoFAB. Pick up a copy of her book, Fine to Fab, Here!