When you're at the beginning of any problem you must first identify where and what the problem areas are? With that you must ask a very important question: who do I hold responsible for these poor areas of my life?
Whenever we approach a challenge we need to identify what the real issues are that we have not yet healed and how we can now own those areas of our life.
The assignment of blame and responsibility to anyone other than our self ultimately means the space remains unhealed.
I recently healed a mother wound I didn't have a radar for until Adelia's urgent need required me to make a shift.
Let me explain.
Adelia is an alpha all the way. My friends have expressed concern that I'm just too nice, too sweet to raise up a girl with her aggressive nature. I have to admit I was feeling pretty beat up. I not only had my little one hitting and biting me, but it felt that way with our friends too. One friend told me to get rid of her, another called her vicious, and there were those 7 early playdate friends who disappeared from our life I think because of Adelia's aggressive behaviors with their little ones.
I love my daughter, I believe in her capacity to heal and change, and it seemed the only answer was that I must become an alpha mom to her, one who could meet her energies with a strength and perseverance my gentle persona could not do.
So just a few short weeks ago, sitting at my desk in prayer, I lit a candle affirming I was of the light here to bless humanity, and prayed: God I don't know how to do this, but I'm willing to be Alpha mama. I know this is part of what I need to heal, and my beautiful strong daughter needs this to succeed in life.
As I was willing to look a cascade of memories from early childhood flooded forth of my very distressed, crazed mother (who had a massive undiagnosed brain tumor). I remembered all the beatings and horrific 'curses' ...the intense difficult life our family had from an out-of-control alpha mom.
So for me, the first thing to do was get clear that there are many versions of alpha mom and I would not be echoing what I'd learned from my own mother. I would be strong, constant and loving with Adelia, and less bendable or less perhaps I should say less manipulable.
As my energy is changing and I'm raising up tp a new stronger presence, I notice things in my life are changing. The first interviews I was doing were okay, but nothing special. Now every interview I do is magical, I'm getting invitations to all shows over 30 minutes to come back, do more!
I'm thinking some friends who knew me as soft and struggling may not relate to the stronger version of me. When you make a change like this some folks who you might have thought of as friends will fall away to make room for new ones that are better suited for who you are now.
Although I had moved out of blame and assigning responsibility long ago I had not adjusted my persona to reflect that freedom. I uncollapsed my idea that all alpha moms resembled my own mom and opened to the thousands of wonderful and uniques versions of this, and then to exploring my own beautiful mothering version, in power and strength.
Your woundings, clearings and transformations will be unique to your childhood family and the love you received.
Clues to this issue, perhaps you can look: Do you welcome others with love? Do you warmly greet others? Do you have room for others to be human and make mistakes and still find them lovable?
In our clearing hours, we'll do a deep results-producing chart to help you shift up to a better version of you.
Gestation, rejection, birth trauma, early abuse and neglect will all be addressed.
I want to help you heal your mother wound and live a fully engaged, powerful, successful life. Together we can make this miracle happen!
Join in to heal your mother wound.