When it comes to financial infidelity, there is no such thing as an innocent financial fib. Financial infidelity is a subtle form of cheating, so much so, people do not even know they are even doing it, it's so subtle. In a poll, 40% of all adults in a committed relationship admitted to lying to their partner regarding spending and 82% hide purchases from their partner, which is obviously financial infidelity. Did you know that there is a link between financial infidelity and infidelity as both are betrayal and secrets and betrayal can breed more betrayal?
Did you know that there is a link between credit card debt and the frontal cortex of the brain?
My theory on financial infidelity is similar to my theory on Adultery, which I see as a disease.
To learn more about it read Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker and see how credit card debt and what you eat, and how you behave with money is very connected to a physiological problem, and a disease as well.
Couples need to have money conversations weekly, but they are overwhelmed most of the time. Because opposites attract, when they pick each other, they often find that a spender marries a saver and a saver will marry a spender, and that causes conflicts when they have these talks. Using the Smartheart Skills and Dialogues, you can create the intimacy of the relationship and have passion you've dreamed of. Without the talk, the intimacy, the relationship, and passion are compromised.
I developed Smartheart Skills and Dialogues and Money Talk as the glue to renew passion. These skills and dialogues enhance mutuality, clarity, and safety which fosters mystery, sizzle and ultimately romance magic. Here are links to my videos on financial infidelity: Financial Infidelity Video #1 and Financial Infidelity Video #2 Below are two affirmation exercises I would like you to begin using with your partner:
Exercise: Money Affirmations
Each day list five (5) positive things about your current financial situation that you are truly grateful for. Let go of any negative thoughts such as "not enough" or need more." Appreciate and be grateful for what your money has done for you: "a home to live in," "good food to eat," "the opportunity to socialize with friends." Begin each day with these thoughts of gratitude. Post this list where your partner can set it, and verbalize these thoughts to yourself and each other throughout the day.
Exercise: Partner Affirmations
Each day list five (5) things about your partner that you are truly grateful for. Do not list material things. You may be grateful he is healthy, that she comes from a loving family, that he's attractive, that he doesn't snore. Begin each day with these thoughts of what you most appreciate. Post this list where your partner can see it and verbalize each of these thoughts to yourself and each other throughout the day.
For more on how to use my Smartheart Skills and Dialogues Money Talk, whether you are single or married, it is all in my book Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker. Whether you are married or single and have been trying to work on your relationship for years, I am here to help.
In only 30 minutes, I'd like to help you have a major breakthrough in what may feel like a nightmare relationship and turn into YOUR dream relationship. Go here to apply for your FREE phone session.
Here is to finding and keeping real love!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil Love and Relationship Expert