Good Energy/Bad Energy: How to Use Your Inner Power Maria Paratore Book Author at Body Rewired Have you ever wondered how certain situations seems to teach you lessons? You may notice you are pretty perceptive; you have gut feelings or instincts that you either embrace or ignore, yet they send you down a certain path. They are part of your self-preservation mechanism and are always trying to lead you in the safest direction. Sometimes easy to ignore, others not so much, these feelings are all a part of energy. We always have, feel, produce, and give off energy. It is our life force, it fuels us and others and can be both negative and positive in relation to our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Many of us question how to use the energy in our lives in a positive way for both ourselves and others. People who are positive, easy-going, full of love, happiness, and a willingness to give often give off positive "energy" or "vibes" that make us feel happy and safe around them. Some people you may notice just light up a room when they walk into it while others may give us a feeling of anxiety or that something is just "off". So, how do we deal with so-called "toxic" people or situations? How to we turn the "bad" into "good" and change the negativity that may surround us from time to time? The answer is WE DON'T... Yes, that may not be the answer you would like to hear. However, we have to remember we can't change people.. we can't control every situation. If you are dealing with a toxic relationship, a narcissist, or any other type of negative situation, remember, it's not the OTHER person you need to change...it's you! You have choices. As sad as it may seem, there are people walking the earth who have very little regard for the happiness and well-being of others. Their sense of entitlement and negative energy will seek to drain us to death and destroy our spirit. What you can do is start right now... You can let go of the fear, anxiety, depression, and obsession with the person or situation and seek to heal yourself. The only person who deeply has control over you is YOU. Healing and rebalancing your energy doesn't have to take years. You can move on right now in five steps:
1. Forgive them: this is going to be the hardest thing you will ever have to do. Maybe they have tried to ruin your life, your career, or maybe they have hurt you physically, financially, or through your family. You have to right now forgive them. Realize they are not well mentally or emotionally, YOU have no control over their well-being so you must forgive them and be sincere about it so you can heal your own heart.
2. Wish them well: In everything you do, never wish that someone gets hurt or is punished. As much as they may deserve it or require it to stop hurting you, don't wish ill-will upon anyone. If you are religious, pray for them, ask God, the Universe, or whoever you identify with to release their inner anger and set them free. Both 1 and 2 will be extremely liberating for you as well. Carrying anger, anxiety, or hate dims our spirit.
3. Distance yourself: I don't mean just physically. I mean emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. You must energetically "cut the cord" from them. In some cases, if going through a divorce, separation, or parting of roommates, etc. physical distance may be a challenge in the beginning, but as soon as you can make your way away from your toxic target...DO IT! Sometimes toxic people may be people you don't even really know. There are many people unhappy with their own lives who are jealous of you, ashamed of themselves, or lack the confidence and self-esteem to seek help and be good upstanding honest people. Don't let this ruin your spirit. Don't go down with nonsense. Read, enjoy nature, workout, play with your kids or pets, hug your loved ones, meditate, get Reiki, take a spa day, write, draw, paint, whatever inspires you. All of these activities are a form of energy rebalancing within you. You are the most important person here, so putting time back into you is essential. 4. Don't retaliate: Letting go and not reacting in any way to the toxic energy will do wonders for you. The best part of this is it cuts off the energy supply you are giving to the individual causing your distress. If you are thinking of revenge or obsessing about them in any way they are reaping satisfaction whether or not you have been vocal about it. In lieu of worrying and being fearful of them, go live your life! Do everything mentioned in step 3 to keep you focused on you and less focused on them. 5. Learn, "this too shall pass": And it shall! Right now, this seems like an earthquake to you. Losing a friend, partner, acquaintance, or any other association through means of mental and emotional hurt they have caused you can be crippling. But you know deep in your soul that if you do the right thing and exit yourself from the situation, the situation will start to fade away. It's like having a button that they can push to get you going... You take away the button, you take away their fun. So take everything you have right now and put it into a new project. Call it "Project YOU". It could be a new fitness endeavor, a new position at work, or maybe you start a new business for yourself. Whatever the focus, once you deeply believe that this will all pass you by and you will come out unscathed you have won the battle and retained your sanity. :)