Over 19 years ago, I was working relentlessly building wealth, but emotionally, spiritually, and physically was bankrupt. This was tied to an unresolved root cause associated with my father and with feelings of anger stemming from my childhood. The destructive habits and behaviors I carried to early adulthood nearly killed me twice and were destroying me.
Though remaining conflicted, I conveyed an image to others and was perceived as a happy and financially successful man. In reality, the money meant nothing if my emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being were not synchronized. It took hitting rock bottom nineteen years ago to have that "aha" moment – realizing the solution to my problem starts
with looking within, taking my moral inventory, and learning to be in the moment for clarity. It took nearly two years from that time to come full circle with my true self. I have been able to experience true success living in the solution by resolving the root cause and having balance.
What is balance? Balance is being true to your purpose and not being distracted by shiny objects, surrounding yourself with family and loved ones, nurturing your spirituality, maintaining a healthy balance between emotional and physical health, and being present in the moment. Since completing this process, I now have the awareness of unblocking
emotional barriers and achieving sustainable success at the next level through speaking engagements to organizations and working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, and others as a Life & Business Strategist and Wellness Advocate.
Have you asked yourself from time to time why your life has not unfolded the way you have envisioned? Have you asked what holds you back from getting things accomplished and being successful? The answer lies with past events from early childhood through the teen years, which is the Cause that leads to the Effects that most people live with, and that
keeps them trapped in self-doubt which leads to procrastination. Your unconscious habits and behaviors in adulthood are tied back to trigger events that have molded you into a pattern of self-doubt or success. It is your inner critic that has a choice of tapping into the positive or negative that dictates your habits and behaviors that either serve you or not . . .
For example, you see a man who has never been able to live up to his full potential with his career. He may have had a father who was overbearing and always badgering him to improve his performance or skills. He may have also felt neglected because his father was never there for important events or did not acknowledge him for his childhood successes. These are trigger events that develop the Causes that lead to the Effects that in adulthood, will mold habits and behaviors that may be detrimental to his success due to self-doubt. Living in the effect will not change his current situation if operating from self-doubt. The inner critic defaults to the negative and unconsciously feeds off the Cause, which creates habits and behaviors that do not serve him. He has lived his entire life not being his authentic-self – always looking to be someone else his dad or other authoritative figures wanted him to be in life.
Another example is a man who struggles with being overweight and cannot seem to gain respect from women in his life. He had a relatively decent upbringing with no traumatic events. However, his mother, who was slightly domineering, would often comment during his growing years to eat everything on his plate because good food is expensive and
others were not as fortunate as he was. His mother, while not malicious with intent, planted a seed of guilt in this man as a boy. In addition to struggling with being overweight without long-term success – despite using several weight-release programs – he also gravitated to women more dominant than he. See the pattern here. He was not conscious of
this during his adult years, and during coaching did not recognize this at first. It was only through consistent questions were we able to uncover that this was his Cause. Once he acknowledged this as his Cause and truly forgave his mother, and most importantly himself, he was then able to fully release it and adopt healthier habits. This new mindset and
healthier habits allowed him to make better food choices to keep the weight off and wisely choose a woman who was neither dominant nor submissive.
Can someone who is stuck in life change and move toward success operating from a place of peace without anxiety? The answer is YES, but only when you start with addressing the Cause(s) and not the Effect(s)in your life. Your life is an evolving story and can change when you choose to change for the better. Your life is not confined by past events
that negatively affected you. They can be used to strengthen you to evolve in a more positive way. The start to eliminate self-doubt begins with addressing the Cause(s). Go back and write down what they are, even if you perceive they do not really bother you. Often, people do not realize that certain events that happened long ago have affected their
lives and play out every day in what they do, in ways that do not serve them. Confront the Cause by looking at yourself in the mirror. Accept responsibility and appreciate this negative experience if you created it. Acknowledge the Cause even if you did not create it but were a victim of circumstance. Forgive the people that hurt you. You do not have to
forget, but just forgive. Let go either way as the story of your life is always evolving and is not defined by just these Causes from trigger events. This can be frightening for many people, but it's the only way to release the Cause that creates the Effects that no longer serve you. You can also do that with a therapist, coach, or trusted friend. Use them to
build your strength in a positive way and continue to develop a story that operates from a place of joy, happiness, and peace – rather than from negative emotions such as anger, shame, and guilt.
When you release the Cause(s) and truly let go, it will unlock the feeling of true peace and joy. You will know your life is about choices, and when you come from your authentic self, your story will only lead you to success over time. Coming from joy and peace, your decisions to act promptly rather than procrastinate will be easier, and the fear of failure
less. You will have more confidence in your abilities coming from your authentic-self and know the universe will play its part if you play yours with 100% commitment and action. You will know fear is just fear itself, not tied to any actual objective or goal you have planned. Know success is a journey not a destination, and the only true failures in life are not to
start, confront, or follow through to something you fear. Always know that fear is an illusion. It is not real, but only appears so when you focus and give energy to it.
Fear can manifest itself in many forms and often stems from your current emotional state. Anger is a manifestation of fear that is directed outwardly at someone else, while guilt and shame are forms of fear directed inwardly at ourselves. These faces of fear can sometimes be difficult to see in our daily lives. Here is an example when you operate out of fear:
In my twenties, I once bought a car through a salesman who was referred by a friend of mine. My friend me told this salesman was having some personal financial issues, but was a genuinely good person who helped his friends. The reason I decided to buy from him was because I held my friend's recommendation in high regard, and I always liked to help
out people who helped others without expectations. I figured if he earned a commission from me for purchasing a car, this would be a win-win situation.
I wrote a check for $1,000.00 to hold the car I selected, and handed over photocopies of my driver's license and three recent months' bank statements. That same night after dinner, it dawned on me that I have handed over confidential documents to him without a second thought – documents that a conman could reuse. I've read of conmen who used another person's documents to apply for loans and then disappeared, leaving the unsuspecting victim to settle the loan with the bank.
When I thought about it, I realized that I did not really know this person at all, other than being referred by my friend. Who knows what kind of a person he was? Perhaps he might be in such deep debt that he could be desperate enough to cheat.
My train of thought just continued to move on from one fear to another, each thought making the fear bigger and more terrible than the one before. By the time I realized what I was doing to myself, I was about ready to panic. As it turns out, none of what I feared was true. This was an honest person just trying hard to earn a decent living. All the fear that
was self-created served only to perpetuate this negative habit.
Most of our fear arises in the same way – subtle and unsuspecting. It starts with one fearful thought and leads to others. Before you know it, it has taken on a life of its own. If we are not careful or have very poor self-awareness, this type of habit can literally create panic in us.
This fear tendency is actually very common, and we can see it in ourselves almost every day. When we are not aware of it, this tendency tends to perpetuate itself each time we allow it to manifest in us. The good news is that we can change this tendency simply by increasing our self-awareness through mindfulness. The sooner we see this pattern, the
easier it is to stop it or replace it with something more positive. When we do this repeatedly, we eventually release the power that fear has over us.
The key is to focus energy toward your goal or dream, and not waste it on fear that in reality, truly does not exist. It is a choice like anything in life. Growth and fulfilling your dreams only comes when you operate out of your comfort zone and do things that you initially fear. You can begin to change your life living for your "Why" and knowing fear is just a loss of your oneness with your true essence. Here are ten steps to minimize self-doubt.
TEN STEPS TO ELIMINATE, REDUCE, OR MINIMIZE SELF-DOUBT TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS
1. Address and confront the Cause(s) that lead to the Effects that create self-doubt and to truly let them go through forgiveness.
2. Make the conscious choice to change toward success by looking at it as a journey and growth process, not a destination.
3. Incorporate a daily schedule of meditation, personal development, healthy eating and exercise, to create balance and overall well-being. Important life decisions are best made when grounded and coming from a sense of peace, joy, happiness, and feelings of confidence.
4. Always be grateful where you are now and where you are going forward.
5. Be in the present moment always and know fear manifests itself when you dwell too much on the past and project too much into the future.
6. Come out of your comfort zone early and be willing to be consistent, but never strive for perfection when it comes to adopting new habits that best serve you toward the journey of success. Never become complacent as greatest growth comes from outside your comfort zone.
7. Write down short-term and long-term goals and set up attainable goals over time. Reward yourself in a positive way for each goal met along the way.
8. Recognize your fear and know it is fear itself and never label it as a feeling of nervousness or anxiety.
9. Always know failure is only when you do not start or follow through. If something does not work during this journey, always look at it as a learning experience and part of the process to achieve something better. The universe will test you, and when you make the choice to really go for it through belief and action, then the universe will untimely do its part.
10. Know and commit to action consistently with your "Why". Know your strengths and weaknesses. However, always focus on your strengths to be better, not perfect, and leverage your weaknesses to those that can address them for you.
We are all worthy of success. It is a choice and process that comes from an internal place of peace and joy inside of you. The choice to listen to your inner critic will be either positive or negative. You will find success when you truly let go of the Cause(s) that create the negative effects that hold you back. Adopt healthier habits over time through the steps
depicted above, so more positive energy and greater motivation can lead you toward a better life. The choice again starts with you.
To your health & prosperity,