Many couples decide to get married or live together but not to share their lives. There is a difference...
Sharing one's life with another person entails choosing to walk hand in hand or side by side all the time, for as long as the couple remains together. That might cause delays in reaching personal goals and detours from one's own path but guarantees that both members of the couple continue going the same way. Unless there is a conscious commitment to share the path, the members of the couple run the risk of separating and walking away one from the other.
Most people never make that conscious decision. When two people agree or decide to live together, be it in matrimony or not, the couple will only be as strong as the commitment of its parties. If one of the members of the couple is there because "there's nothing better for them" or because "they are fine together," the likelihood of their failing to be together in the longer run is extremely high.
Strong couples need strong bonds and strong wills. Only when both members choose to make the effort to fully share their lives, no matter what happens, will they both be strong enough to support one another and even wait for one another if life requires them to. The bond will become stronger the longer they walk together and will weaken if stretched too far.
Life places many hurdles in front of us as human beings. Unless the couple is committed to overcoming all obstacles together, life will be too much for them. If one of the pair decides to move one way to keep on going while the other one moves a different way to sort something out, for example, their directions will set them apart. The further they go, the harder it will be to reunite and continue walking side by side. Most couples don't realize this until they are too far apart. Successful couples need to remain together even if that means having to wait for the other one. They need to move in the same direction even if that means taking detours from one's personal goal. They both need to help the other reach their personal goals, maybe one at a time. Sometimes, one member of the couple needs to follow the other one. That is ok as long as they both agree to go that way and as long as the person doing the following also reaches his or her own goals. Neither of them should sacrifice their goals to the other one. On the contrary, the couple should together guarantee that the goals of both are pursued.
Only by sharing a common path and walking side by side can the couple become stronger every day. If a couple is to last healthy and happy in time, both members need to commit to sharing the same path throughout their lives. Failing to do so will result in two people walking different ways and only coinciding whenever life makes their paths cross. The couple can only grow apart like that. For couples to grow together and become stronger every day, couples need to BE together and sort things out together, learning one from the other and supporting one another.
Sit down together and decide where you both want to go. Find a common direction and start walking the path side by side. Whenever a detour appears, take it together. Whenever one needs to stop, the two will stop. Then, continue walking side by side. As long as both members continue reaching their personal goals, the further the couple goes together, the stronger it grows.
There is no right or wrong direction for couples. The only two real conditions for couples to grow stronger are for both members to be committed to being together and for both respecting and helping one another.
And remember, all paths begin by one first step!
Humanology is the discipline that works with and for human beings by combining academic and scientific knowledge with personal and life experience. Discover how it can help you!
Enjoy life... ALL of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – www.jessicajlockhart.com