Holding on to pain doesn't fix anything. According to Stanford University research, seventy thousand houghts travel through our mind each day, holding on to one and feeding it, will not help... A grudge, a feeling, a memory, an experience these are the thoughts we hold onto from the past. Replaying the past over and over again doesn't change it, and wishing things were different doesn't make it so. In some cases, especially when it comes to the past, all we can do is accept whatever it is, we are holding on to and then let it go.
That is when everything starts changing... We have to let go of what is hurting us, even if it feels almost impossible. Deciding to hold on to the past will hold us back from creating a strong sense of self, a self that isn't defined by our past, but rather by who we want to be. Sometimes, painful feelings can be comfortable, especially if they're all we know. Some people have trouble letting go of their pain or other unpleasant emotions about their past, because they think those feelings are part of their identity. In some ways, they may not know who they are without their pain. This makes it impossible for them to let go.
1) We need to understand- The relationships we think in our vision we had have with our husband, inlaws, children are going to be different than the ones you actually have. We must accept the person we are in this moment. As time goes on, we keep on learning that things don't always go as planned actually, they never do, but that's fine. If we become aware of ourself and our part in our relationships, they will improve but we have to accept people as they are and practice gratitude, appreciation, and trust in the process.
2) Lets not be stuck on- When dealing with people, often outcome leads to disappointment.Expectations is the reason for keeping us stuck, because they lead us to fear of what will happen. There are no guarantees in life, and there's nothing we can really do to get the outcomes we desire when dealing with others. When our expectations are not met, we need to respond rationally and appropriately. Sometimes this means setting respectful boundaries other times, it means letting go. 3)Lets not bound ourselves in self made cages- We live with self-limiting beliefs that decide & define who we are.We think, "I could never do that!" or "I could never make that happen!" If we truly believe that, we will never accomplish our goals. We need to open up our mind, and believe in ourselves. There will be many people who tell us that you can't do it. It is completely on us to prove them wrong. 4) Let go of the idea that you can control others actions- We really only have control over ourselves and how we act.We can't change another person, so let's not waste our time and energy trying. I think this is the biggest factor that pushes people to hold onto unhelpful behaviors, like the need to please. We think, If only I do everything for everyone, they will never get mad at me, which is never the case. 5)Believe in what you think of yourself- Free yourself from being controlled by what other people think. Start to prioritize how you feel about yourself. As Mahatma Gandhi said,"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." You can't live by your values if you're living for the approval of others. Be free and Be happy.. Reenu Sahore Life Coach. Wellness Consultant, Mindfulness Mentor,Meditation Teacher ....