After looking at my title, I'm sure many of you will think I've lost my mind. How could having your heart broken be a wonderful thing? A broken heart can come from many different people - friends, relatives, partners, spouses, lovers and also family . I think the more closer you are to someone, the more the disappointment sets in when our expectations aren't met. The heart breaks when we love someone so much yet they either don't reciprocate or they intentionally trample over our feelings(as we feel)
I go through four stages of a heartbreak:
The shock of the situation. I am totally stunned and shocked- how could someone I love and care about do this to me? They know I am a good person, and that I would do more for them than anyone else and my heart is in the right place (at least that is what I tell myself)
The sadness. This part is the most difficult. I usually cry over everything sometimes blaming myself for my existence and other times blaming the soft sensitive heart. I start to feel like I'm not worthy of being loved and am dispensable. As a human being this is the hardest thing to feel - like I don't matter. The person who I had an issue with is ok and going on with their life without. The basic human desire to feel significant is stripped away and that hurts.
The emptiness- This is another hard one. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I feel empty. The emotional emptiness actually manifests itself into physical pain. I can have lots of people around me but the loss of that one person can't be filled by anyone else.
The anger- Once I am done with my pity party the anger crawls in. The anger is an extension of my ego- thinking and believing that how dare someone treats me that way. I usually go from feeling worthless to feeling like the other person is a piece of shit for hurting me. I am constantly told by people around me, "You are better off without him/her". The anger lights a fire inside and I am ready to fight back. Not fight in the physical sense but fight to bring the joy back to my soul.
The peace eventually comes and we come to terms with the fact that- it was never about us anyway. We realize that people come in our life for a reason and a time, when their need in our life ends they leave us. We learned the lesson we needed and now it is time to move on.
The reason why these five stages are good for me are because it takes me through a roller coaster of emotions. I have to face my fears of not being important enough and I have to humble myself. Then I look deep within my cracked soul that is stitched with white lies and I tell myself that I can survive this blow also. I stitch up that open wound and I allow myself to breath again. Life moves on and the wound will come creeping up at the most unpredictable times. But I know I can heal and move on until- my heart is broken once again and the process of restitching my soul begins-again.
Life I have realized is the juggling the art of having a broken heart and using that same heart to love again. To look within and recognize the signs and omens that are thrown at us from our soul. Sometimes we don't know whether to move on from a broken heart or stay stuck- but we eventually always move on to loving in a bigger and better way!
So yes it is wonderful to have a broken heart because it allows me to love more intensely, laugh alittle louder and learn how strong I am!