If we love somebody, we idealize her/him and suppress our negative feelings to love more. In our subconsciousness, we build up negative sentiments that block more and more our love until the love is over.
Nobody can love if we harbor a lot of negative sentiments inside of us against our darling. Maybe that is the reason, that older couples don't have so much love?
Who wonders why so much negative feelings are coming up against our previous spouse when we separate...? Because our negative suppressed emotions were already inside of us and hindered us to love, to enjoy our time together... and even made our time together horrible... Why not get rid of them, then our relationship is rescued?
Both want the other person under their control... So that the love ends up in a power struggle and one person, mainly the man will be overpowered and will harbor negative feelings against the other person. We can only love if both individuals are independent and free. All the other love relationships are slavery!!!
Love makes us blind if we love we don't see the bad habits of our darling and when the love is over we realize what is bad or what we hate on our darling.
Everything has two poles and so our love. If we love somebody very much, we harbor the same amount of negative feelings, like hate, anger inside of us against our darling.
We always repeat our childhood and so traumas in our relationships. For instance, if we were beaten up and overpowered from our parents, our spouse will bring us in similar situations, and we will hate our spouse. Even more, if the parents had a bad relationship, so their kids will have the same (up to 90%). All science proved since generations.
People are by nature animals who love to have sex with multiple partners.
We get first in love and then our sexual drive is building up to sleep with our darling. In the first month, we cannot have enough sex because nature wants children... After the first month, our lust is diminishing and so our love. Would we change as a man our darling again the sexual drive of us would go up? If the woman got pregnant, she is looking for a nest, get shelter, and the sexual drive is going down.
In the previous generation was it insane to marry out of love, it was rather more that the parents were checking:
1.) if the characters/habits/abilities are fitting and proper enough,
2.) is the income high enough,
3.) is she saving money or is she wasting money,
4.) is she tidy,
5.) does she fit their cast ...
What to do?
My friend said: When I marry the third time I will make therapy together with my wife... These means every 14 days both are spending one day separately in a therapy group... and this time his marriage worked out... Who wonders????